Is it appropriate to attend your ex-daughter-in-law's wedding?
My son and former daughter-in-law divorced 6 years ago. My son has since remarried and has a son with his new wife. He also shares a son with his ex. I have remained friends with my former daughter-in-law and family. I have been invited to her upcoming wedding and of course my grandson would like me to be there. However, my son says if I go I am disrespecting him, he does not get along with her. It would require me to go out of town. Please advise. I feel caught in the middle.
Sept 07, 2011
Attending ex-daughter-in-law's wedding or not
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)
This is another one of those situations where divorce complicates things. Some people think that when the divorce is over, that everything is complete. Situations like this show that even divorce has long term effects.
So, should you attend or not? You are correct. You are caught in the middle and no matter what choice you make, you are going to hurt someone.
Your son has asked you not to attend out of respect for him. If you attend, he will be upset with you.
You have been invited to the wedding. That means that they think enough of you to attend the ceremony and be invited to the festivities. If you do not attend, it will be noticed and they will wonder why.
Even though this is a difficult decision, you need to respect your son's wishes and decline the invitation. He is your son and you have to maintain that relationship. That is more important than attending the ceremony.
The classy thing to do would be to send a gift to the ex-daughter-in-law and let her know that you have a conflict and are unable to attend but you wanted to wish her well with the new husband.
That will make the best of out this difficult situation. Hope it all turns out for the best.