I was asked to invite my sister-in-law's whole family to my daughter's birthday

I was asked to invite my sister-in-law's whole family to my daughter's birthday

My mother in law told me I need to invite my sister-in-law's family. I love my sister-in-law but I was not planning on inviting her mom, dad and sister, along with her 3 children, whom I'm worried about running wild at the party. My daughter is turning 2 and the sister has a 9 year old a 4 year old and a boy who is turning 2 on the same day as the party! I have already made all the favors and would have to go out and purchase more supplies to make more. I feel my mother-in-law is trying to avoid my sister-in-law and brother-in-law having to miss the party because of the other little one's b-day but I feel I'd be putting stress on them on their child's b-day to make it to our party. I don't know. What do I do?

Aug 03, 2011
Who to Invite to the Party...
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

Sounds like there is also some stress being placed on you to invite people that you do not want to invite. There are a few options as to how you handle it.

I do not recommend doing what your mother-in-law is asking. The bottom line is that it is your party and you have the right to invite those that you choose. It is actually poor etiquette to suggest to the host various people that they should invite. Regardless of her motivation, it is not right for her to do that.

One easy way to avoid it is to use the "un-invite" technique. This is where you would say to your sister-in-law that because the children's birthdays are at the same time, that you weren't planning on inviting them so that they are free to celebrate the way that they want to instead of feeling uninvited to your party. I like this method because it lets them know you were thinking about them without actually inviting them.

The other option is just to do nothing and let the party happen. You do take a risk that they are offended that they were not invited. I prefer the other option because it addresses the 800 pound gorilla in the room without having to invite them.

Have fun with your party!

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