Is it okay to have a bridal shower & a honey do shower?

by Elizabeth
(Morgan City, LA, USA)

My Maid of Honor & aunt are determined to throw me a bridal shower. They are very much into old traditions & want me to be able to experience everything party, planning etc. that comes with a wedding. BUT my mother-in-law to be wants to throw a honey do shower so that my finance can also receive gifts & whatnot. I'm stuck in the middle because each side is determined to throw each shower. I understand you wouldn't invite the same people to each shower. But what about our family & our wedding party? I would want my bridesmaids to attend my bridal shower. But should them & their significant other be invited to the honey do shower as well? I personally think it is going to be too much. & I do not want any of our guests to think we are trying to be greedy. But I do not think I will be able to talk either side out of throwing one of the showers. Is there any way to be able to specify on the honey do shower invites that its just for him, & on my bridal shower invites its just for me? I'm just at a stuck spot and need some guidance from someone who is not in either side of the family. Thank you!


Aug 02, 2011
Showers For Both Bride And Groom
by: Kevin (Modern Manners and Etiquette)

As you already know, the traditional wedding does not have a shower for both the bride and the groom. However, there is a recent trend for the groom to skip the bachelor party and have a shower for the groom.

The thought process is that instead of the ladies getting together from both sides of the family, it provides and opportunity for the males of each side of the family to do the same thing.

In this light, you will not have the same attendees because one party is primarily for the women and the other for the men.

This is part of a wedding. Two families (with different wedding traditions) coming together to become one. They are both going to throw the party that they want in the way that they want. The important part is to keep the attendees separate and invite them to the relevant party. That way, there will not be an issue with people thinking that you are being greedy.

Go with both parties and enjoy them. This is part of bringing two families together.