by kathryn Mele
(Saugus Massachusetts, USA)
Rx-husband passed away 8/25/2011 with ARD and complications of pneumonia and heart by pass surgery. Children attended his last 3 months of life. They live in Iowa and I live in Massachusetts. One part of me wants to fly out and attend the funeral for the support of my children whom are 23, 26, 29 and 31, and then the other part me says no, and just send flowers and a card. My son is not to keen on me and has had many bitter feeling towards since his father and I divorced 10 years ago. Bitter to the point that he sees me as non-existent. My three daughters have accepted the fact and turn away and are in talking terms with me. My second daughter is getting married Sept, 10 2011 and I will be attending her wedding. I need to get a ticket in the next 24 hours to fly for the funeral on Monday. Please advise me in what direction I should take because I really don't want to hurt anyone. My ex and I were married for 20 years, and divorced almost 10 years, and the last 5 years we have had a civil friendship because of the children. My children have seen through their fathers 3 surgeries in the past 2 years, starting with knee realavement surgery on both knees and then a 16 way kidney transplant a year and a half ago and now a triple by pass surgery just 3 months ago in which went into ARD, pneumonia and complications bacteria infections of the surgery, which cased his death tonight. I want to be there for my children but yet in my heart I don't feel it would be respectful for others that are attending. Please let me know as soon as possible. Thank you.